Journal of a Realistic Lifestyle

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Just before you sign the divorce papers or say it's over.

Relationships form the bedrock of a society, relationships between husband and wife ,father and children ,between boy and girl etc.  are what makes up a society . Marriage is one of the features of a great relationship.
Marriage is a social and legal contract between two individuals that unite their lives legally, economically and emotionally, being married also gives legitimacy to sexual relations within the marriage, traditionally marriage is often viewed as having a role to the preservation of morals and civilization.
In our society today people get married on the 56 Saturdays of the year, but the  rate of divorce has being on the increase for the past few years ,which I must say is becoming norm especially in the states and fast rising in Africa today . Even in the church today ,the rate of divorce is quite alarming ,a statistic report showed that couples who are married in their faith are much less likely to divorce ,catholic couples were 31% less likely to divorce ,protestant couples 35% less  likely and Jewish couples 97% less likely which itself is quite impressive . What are the courses of marriage scandal/divorce? Why do people who love each other so much decide to go their separate ways because they can’t seem to tolerate each other’s presence? Before we answer these questions let’s have a basic understanding of divorce
Divorce is the termination of a marriage or marital union by both parties involved or it’s the re-organising of the legal  duties of marriage thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple under the  rule of law of the particular state or country. When a couple is divorced it leads to serious marriage scandal.

Causes of Divorce

When the issue of divorce comes up 90% of people quickly jump to the conclusion that it was due to infidelity, here are other causes of divorce listed below:

  • Finance: Most times people feel it’s the lack of finance that could be a major cause of divorce on the contrary it’s the inability to manage the resources the couple has and lack of compatibility in the financial area, opposites can attract but   when two people are opposites in the financial area the divorce often ensues. Imagine a scenario where one is a spender and the other likes to save up there will be conflict  between both of them if not resolved quickly it could lead to divorce, cause that might be the only logical resolution.
  • Attitude : This is one of the main causes of divorce because some people can’t stand their spouses attitude or character especially when they have a nagging  partner instead of looking   for  a solution they tend to complain, blame , criticize , threaten  or mentally torture their partner  ,over time if such attitude isn’t checked or corrected it could turn a happy home into a battle field.
  • When the sex life is non –existent : Sometimes in a marriage there is a subtle change in the intimacy department . Then there’s the idea that he isn’t as romantic or she isn’t as sexual as he or she used to be,this subtle change can trigger a downward spiral in the intimacy department. Men generally need sexual receptivity to feel romantic and women generally need romance to be sexually receptive, as long as both parties are getting what they need the marriage will flourish but when this isn’t there ,it could lead inevitably to divorce.
  • Getting married for the wrong reasons is a major factor people should be mentally ready before walking down the isle.  

Solutions to prevent Divorce from occurring in Marriages

We have looked at some of the courses of marriages; here are some solutions that could avoid divorce below:

  • Effective communication: communicating with your spouse is an essential tool for a successful marriage because what is not communicated isn’t shared ,what is not shared creates separation .what separate leads to unbridgeable distances and distances destroys unity , good communication is the bedrock of  any form of relationship never let it leave  your marriage
  •  Respect and admiration for each other
  • Compliment your spouse regularly  both in private and in front of others
  • Solve problems immediately

Marriage is a blissful union which was ordained by God from the beginning of creation, it was made not just for reproduction but also for companionship,  When most divorcees are asked if they still love their exes they give a positive reply so instead of taking a walk  you can work it out  think about it for the sake of your children and finally for yourselves divorce isn’t a good experience.

I hope this was helpful
Do have a lovely day ahead.

Also see 7 Questions you must ask yourself before dive into a relationship.

Facebook Jenny Kay
Instagram @jennykaay

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