Journal of a Realistic Lifestyle

Saturday, 15 October 2016

A Wee Pee in His Pants

Story by David Seki

"Oga, take... Thank you, so we go see by 5 na", said Kunle as he paid the cab man,

 "okay na, later bros", the cab man replied and drove off.
It was just about 7:45am and Kunle was all set for work at his office. He works as a marketer at Solidrock Bank, just along Stevenson Road in Ikeja, Lagos. Kunle has a car but for some reasons prefers to go to work everyday in a cab, and Mr. Bode is his choices cab man. He first met Mr. Bode five years ago while he was still a student at the University of Benin, then in his finals and Mr. Bode would take him every morning from his place at the Senior Staff Quarters to the faculty of Management sciences where he often received lectures. His elder brother introduced him to the cab man. Fortunately, Mr. Bode relocated to Lagos with his family after he was employed by the Silver group Cab services, and when Kunle came across his old friend at a park in Lagos 7 months ago when he was finally staffed by the bank, he was glad.
So, Kunle adjusted his belt as he stepped into the compound. He greeted the security men as they gave him a morning dose of washy. He stepped into the banking Hall, greeted his colleagues who had arrived at the office and went straight to his desk to prepare papers and plans for the day — clients he should visit and call, filled account forms he should see to their processing. By the time it clocked 8 am, he was done, and his boss, the manager, stepped into the office. They, present at the hall, stood up and greeted him and sat back. About a minute later, he came out and called Kunle and his co-marketers of the branch into his office and told him the marketers from various branches of Solidbridge bank were to have a meeting later in the day. It was impromptu. They all went back to their desks and prepared for it.

At 11:33am, the manager was set to leave. Smart man, he knew the time it would take from his office to the conference hall where the meeting was to hold. His culture was to be right on time. Not 1 minute earlier or later. It always worked for him.
"Are you guys set?" He asked.
"Yes, sir. We the guys are set, Chinanza is coming." Replied Kunle.
"It is about 23 minutes drive to the conference hall, so if we go now we will get there right on time. I don't like to be late... And I don't know what I'll be doing if I get there too early... Now these girl wants to delay me..." Said the manager.
He continued,
"What is she  now doing that she couldn't do since?".
"It's women for you ooo...", said Kunle with a smile on his face intending to outlaugh Chinanza.
Then at exactly 11:35am, she stepped out of the banking hall, through the exit door and hurried to the car. After taunting her, the manager drove off. Meanwhile, Kunle had had this urge to urinate since about 9 am but chose to postpone it because of the work he had at hand, but it wasn't that urgent until 1:13pm while they were at the round table meeting. The presenter sent his presentation to the email address of all the attendees and they followed him page by page on their tablets. Now Kunle has got the urge, and nature was now saying 'this is urgent, bro'. He exited his presentation app and went straight to his WhatsApp to message his boss to ask if he could excuse himself. However, the boss was online as indicated by WhatsApp and Kunle gave a little chuckle, at the same time, the presenter said something that made everyone laughed, making it look as if Kunle laughed at the presenter's joke, but he wasn't even paying attention. He messaged his boss and the chat went,
"You're online, sir",

"I know. I'm checking something... Follow the presentation. It's for marketers, not managers"

"I know, but I need to use the toilet..."

"Use the toilet for what?"

"Ease myself, sir"

"I know, the presentation is quite boring, but manage it..."

"No, sir. I want to urinated"... He sent another in an attempt to correct his mistake "***urinate"...

"Hold it na".

"I've been holding it since 9am".

"Hmm..." The boss sent, and sent another just immediately, "Okay, take excuse and go".

Kunle was relieved, so he looked up for a second, and messaged his boss again,
"Thanks, sir."

"Yeah, doh..." The boss replied.

So Kunle stood up quietly, called the attention of of one the protocols and asked for the rest room. The man then asked him to follow him. He followed. 

The banker walked by the way behind the protocol who was leading him to the John. He walked really maturely even though his bladder was about to explode. He kept his cool, till he went into the lavatory. As soon as the protocol left him, all maturity left as well and he began to hurriedly remove his belt, but wasn't fast enough so a wee pee was released on his pants. He noticed. There was a temporary relief. Now the bigger problem was gone, but the wee one couldn't be solved by a toilet. So he thought for a while how to make the mark in his trousers around his crotch to unnoticeable, the only solution was to cover it with his tablet, which he luckily took with him to the toilet. He did that and began his journey back to the conference room. At about 2:00pm, the meeting was over. They all went outside. The mark was still there sampling itself on his brown trousers. He tried covering it, but a lady just ahead of him noticed it and smiled. Kunle was still greeting the those he knew except that he was doing it in a different style, with his left hand stiff to his tablet which hung around his crotch region. When he had to greet an elder, her would turn in a very weird way, it was while he greeted on of the elders and had to shake with both hands, the lady noticed. Now Kunle turned and saw this beauty standing by the receptionist with a hairstyle worth a billion lives, she smiled at the receptionist and Kunle died and rose again. She was putting on a fitted red grown that reached her knees, short sleeved. Her curves appeared perfect, an artist would need special pencils to draw them on a paper. Eyes, well, Kunle hadn't seen the eyes yet. So he walked straight to her like the man he is. Damn the spot down there. He approached and got her attention.
"Hi," he said.
She turned and replied "Hey, there"...
Now Kunle could see the eyes. It really was like every other eyes he had seen, but pretty much because of the type of body they were fixed in, they could kill a thousand men. She put on an inviting smile and for a second, Kunle was knocked off balance.
"I'm Kunle, and you are?"
"Fumni, how may I help you?"
"Nothing... Just noticed you across the room and decided to come say Hello..."
"Awww, thank you".
"So you are a marketer as well?"
"Not, actually... We organized your meeting. I work with Sarah's Events... I'm an agent..."

Kunle was lost here, he thought she was a marketer as well, and now that he is seeing they have little or less in common, he didn't know how to go through with the process. But she continued,

"So, you're a SolidRock Bank marketer or a manager?"
"Ah, Nooo... marketer ooo!"
"What? Can't you be a manager?"
"Well, I just got staffed 7 months ago... So, you see..."
"Oh, I see"...

Then she said it,

"So, how is there a wee pee in your pant?"...

The conversation continued, Kunle got to know her and they dated the next few months. Kunle isn't one of those flirts who use and dump. He always wanted to respect women and their dignity, even though they didn't. So he started a serious relationship with her, she liked him because of his down-to-earthness, and they went on to tie the knot. Seems the wee pee in his pants was what got a conversation to really ensue and begin something serious.


1 comment:

  1. Seems like all things working together for our Good.


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