Journal of a Realistic Lifestyle

Friday, 21 April 2017

I'm old and unmarried

I'm Old and Unmarried.

That airless moment when life is moving faster than you.
You just sit down and realise you are old.
You no longer care about the things that used to drive you crazy.
You can't wear that crazy jean anymore because your 16 years old sister wears it.
You see yourself attending weddings...Either you are the chief bride's maid, a bride's maid, an usher or just a random observer.

Then it hits you hard like rock! Most of your friends are married and have left you in the world of "singlehood and unmarried"
You try to calm down and think about ways to make your life work out.
Maybe you should go out more often...dress single....look searching but not desperate....go to relationship seminars and probably go for deliverance (as some of your relatives have advised)

Finally, in the midst of all this heat; you meet someone... He's cool, fun, good looking and well to-do. 
You both get along really well and your heart starts leaping for joy. 
Maybe this is it....This might be the end of the road for you....Maybe you found him.
He asks you out and after playing hard to get... You finally find yourself drooling in the warmth of his affection and spinning in the web of love.....You start imagining yourself as a married woman and this guy as your husband.

Unfortunately, you find out you are few years older than him.
You try to still give it a chance but reality shoots in like AK-47.
You are a Nigerian girl and people would talk. Mama wouldn't agree.... Papa would forbid....and his family members....Well, they'd disagree too.
Wicked coldstoned Nigerian mentality swept your feet away and pushed you into the ocean of life, leaving you to sink like titanic.

Maybe relationship wasn't meant for you afterall....
Maybe you were meant to be like your secondary school literature teacher who wasn't married at 50.
Maybe you'd never find happiness.
Maybe you are asking for too much.
And maybe you should "pause".....stop trying....focus on younger....wear what you accept yourself for who you are.....fall in love with yourself and the things you like......then let the wind of life blow you into the positive direction of your mind.

I realized that being worried about things make little or no difference compared to being happy about them. It's always about travelling in the process of finding yourself....the moment you stop living out your happiness, you stop existing within your own self.
You might get too worried and then miss it. Trust me when I say that if you relax, and emit positive vibes.....You would be surprised to see yourself on the alter saying "I do" with your "Mr Right". Then, It'll be bye-bye to your old and unmarried self.

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