Journal of a Realistic Lifestyle

Saturday, 27 January 2018

My Encounter With a Yahoo Girl


 
I was on my way to see a movie. You all know how much I love movies and how long I anticipated Jumanji. The movie was in two hours, I was alone at home and was almost bored to death so I decided to just visit my friend who works in a shopping mall close to my house. I was gonna visit her for one hour during her break period and then use the other one hour to get to the cinemas and place my single self in a strategic position for possible "boyfriend to bes".

As I got to the shopping mall where my friend works, I saw her assisting a young girl. Pretty much my age or maybe two years older. She was all glam, eyeshadow and bronzer popping, was on high heels, the latest clothes on instagram and was wearing my dream hair (I actually felt like harassing her for stealing my dream hair from the future). She was radiating rich, classy and powerful. I stood for like 10 minutes watching her. She was with one guy. The guy looked like her driver but I was terribly astonished when I heard her calling the guy baby. So I concluded that he was her boyfriend or maybe she just likes to call her drivers "baby".

Deep down in my soul, my "oversabi" spirit had concluded that the girl either has rich parents, another rich baby or..... she's fell from the sky with diamonds because she almost bought everything in the mall. She bought chocolate worth about 100k. I'm very sure she can never eat that amount of chocolate even if God blesses her with Metuselah's long life. She bought one "useless" toy for 59.99k because she liked the tyres of the toy car.

Anyways, every thing she bought in the mall was about 500k and the only thing near reasonable that she acquired for herself were condoms and a shoe for her baby driver. Every other thing were quite unnecessary (but it's not my money sha).

The reason I decided to share this story was that, after she had finished paying for the things she bought, she told the workers to tell everybody (all present customers and workers) to collect "anything" they wanted with all bills on her. My mouth opened like "kilode!! Aunty please comman show me the farm where you planted the money that is growing like water leaf"... Everywhere was so tense. Everybody was rushing to collect their dreams. Nigerians are greedy sha, someone almost opened her cake shop with the girls head. I just went and took one small thing (lol. Don't ask me what I took).

I later heard that the girl was into yahoo yahoo and that she has done plus with her baby drivers head. You people should come and teach me how to press laptop o (lol, aside blogging sha)
Afterwards, I carried myself to go and see jumanji...one toaster came to buy me popcorn and coca-cola but I later chased him away with my rudeness. I guess that's why I'm still single.

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